This Is Getting Easier

In my quest to better understand the direction the media seems to be headed these days, i'm always rewarded with nuggets like these:



Which, in most cases, always leave me asking more questions than i had in the first place. Like, how is news prioritized so that this comes between stories about how nicer dressed employees are more prone to receive promotions (awww) and something about "Miley Cyrus" hanging up her "Hannah" wig, which makes me feel about a thousand years old for not getting whatsoever.

But here, this cat, i can understand this. This is big news, Jesus on the cat. I'm intrigued about the obvious black/white dichotomy we're dealing with here, as the other kitty is most definitely bound to be equally representative of the dark prince, Satan himself, sooner or later. I'm surprised they didn't hit the black one over the head with a shovel during the interview for that matter. Also, isn't this the first biblical sighting since the Virgin Mary appeared on that old woman's grilled cheese? Shouldn't we be assembling all those scientists out there working on the cure for cancer together in a conference to determine what the connection might be between the grilled cheese mary and the kitty named Sissy with the blurriest picture of Jesus i've ever seen on its tufty butt fur?
Here's what i want to know: When did we, as Americans, just give up entirely on those exciting visions we had for the future, when technology and invention were peaking, and nobody worried about gasoline or homos whatsoever? Those were the days we were hot on the trail of the American Dream, an antiquated and bygone concept that may never again rear its head, thanks to the guano of stations like CNN. I hope that cat poops a John Paul II and nobody even notices. I hope aliens come soon, also.